Across The Stars
by xXCuteMariaClaraXx
Summary: A long time in a galaxy far far away... there was a princess who led a rebellion against an evil Empire, and a smuggler captain who was only in it for the money, and cared about nothing else. Or perhaps, he simply needed reminding that he could... (Star Wars AU; Jucy "JamesxLucy")
1. Princess In Denial

**Disclaimer: I do not own Nickelodeon's TV Show "Big Time Rush" and Lucas Film's (and Disney's) Star Wars.**

* * *

 **Characters Starring:**

 _James Diamond as **James Solo (Han Solo)**_

 _Lucy Stone as **Princess Lucy Organa (Princess Leia Organa)**_

 _Kendall Knight as **Kendall (Ken) Skywalker (Luke Skywalker)**_

 _Carlos Garcia as **Carlos (Carlo) the Wookie (Chewie/Chewbacca)**_

 _Logan Mitchell as **L3MO (C3PO)**_

 _Kelly Wainwright as **General**_ ** _Wainwright_**

 _Katie Knight as **Lieutenant Knight**_

Gustavo Rocque as **Admiral Rocque (Admiral Ackbar)**

Lightning, the dog actor _ **as L2-N2**_

Amy Collins (Miss Collins) as **_Amelia Mothma, co-leader of the Rebel Alliance (Mon Mothma)_**

 _Reginald Bitters as **Bitters the Hutt (Jabba the Hutt)**_

* * *

 **A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away…**

 **~O~**

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 **~O~**

* * *

The command centre was busy as always, tinny voices reporting in over headsets, soldiers and officers striding through the narrow spaces, a scene of organized chaos.

As organized as the Rebellion ever got, anyway.

Lucy did her best to ignore the noise around her as she leaned over the back of Katie's chair, eyes on the display in front of her. There had to be a way to reroute that convoy to avoid the New Imperial patrols along with the Corellian Trade Spine. The Alliance needed those supplies.

She took a moment while Katie called up the next report to stand up straight and stretch a little, her skin tingling with goosebumps. Even with two layers of cold-weather thermal gear, it was cold.

She glanced around the room, over towards the door, and stopped short. It had just opened again to admit someone, and when Lucy saw who it was, she had to bite back a curse on her lips.

Dark hair, swaggering stride at complete odds with the Rebels soldiers around him, navy jacket and half-open shirt in apparent disdain for the cold, and far more handsome features than he had any right to. James Solo, also known as the Smuggler Captain, hotshot pilot and an all-around good looking scoundrel.

He strode past a display, eyes scanning the room, and managed to turn around just in time to catch her looking at him.

Even that set her teeth on the edge. She had never met a man who could raise her hackles just by walking into a room.

It didn't help that every time he walked into a room, she managed to pick _exactly_ that moment to look over at the door.

She gave him an arch look, raised her chin a little, and turned back to the display.

It didn't work. The background noise that had been almost soothing before now distracted her, because James' voice was cutting through it, and because she couldn't help wondering what he was even doing here. The man was impossible to ignore. Lucy knew; she had tried. She still did. She'd never been one to be intimidated by _impossible._

"Solo." That was Kelly Wainwright's voice, a familiar mixt of matter-of-fact and impatient; somehow, she always managed to give the impression of being interrupted in the middle of something important. Lucy chanced another look. James had his back to her now, facing Kelly, so he wouldn't be able to catch her this time.

"The planet appears to be as barren and lifeless as ever, General," James said, his voice all business. Lucy had to fight by keeping from making a face. Maybe this was why he'd come to report in person, to have the opportunity to make it as verbose and flowery as possible. The man loved his words.

Or maybe he just loved the sound of his voice saying them.

"The sensors are in place," James went on. "If any unannounced visitors do decide to drop by, you'll know about it."

Lucy frowned. Why the hell _was_ he here? That was hardly the kind of report he needed to give in person, and he hated giving reports at the best of times. In fact, from what she could see of him is that, he looked nervous.

James Solo, nervous. Now _there_ was a new concept.

Kelly just nodded. "Has Commander Skywalker reported in yet?"

"No, he's investigating a meteorite that impacted near his assigned route."

Lucy braced herself inwardly, but Kelly barely reacted to the change in plans. Maybe she'd finally resigned herself to the fact that James and Ken were involved, there was _always_ a change in plans.

"All the meteor activity will make it a lot harder to spot approaching ships." Was all the general said.

It came out then, in a rush that told Lucy exactly why James had come in person, and why he hadn't stopped for an argument with her on the way. "General, I need to leave. I can't stay any longer."

It took Lucy a second to realize that he didn't mean the command center. He meant the Rebellion.

He was leaving her.

It was like being punched in the gut, an icy shook that settled in Lucy's stomach, colder than Hoth. She'd always known that'd leave sooner or later. She hadn't realized that until right now, she'd been hoping he wouldn't.

Kelly's eyes seem to flicker over James' shoulder to Lucy for a split second, but her expression shows only a mild disappointment. "I'm sorry to hear that."

"Yeah, well, there's still a price on my head. If I don't pay off Reginald Bitters, I'm not much longer for the world of the living." James said, and Lucy marveled distantly at how he could make a dying sound like poetry.

"It can't be easy to live with a death mark like that." Kelly actually sounded sympathetic, and there was a smile on her face now as he she held out her hand to him. "You're a good fighter, Solo. I hate to lose you."

James shook her hand with his good one, and nodded. "Thank you, General."

He turned sharply, almost aggressively, a touch of almost military discipline in the movement hinting at a past that Lucy still knew hardly anything about. It was too late to pretend that she hadn't noticed him, but since she was well within earshot, there was no way he'd have bought it anyway.

Besides, this was not something she needed to deny. He knew how he felt about this.

Which was probably why there was an extra dose of defiance and arrogance lifting his chin as he strode over to her. "Well, your Highness, I guess this is it."

And just like that, the coldness in her gut flared into white-hot anger. He had a talent for making her angry at the best of times, just by being so insufferably smug and unreasonably confrontational and sarcastic, but this was worse.

Two years. Two years, countless battles, too many moments that had her thinking that maybe she could count on him… and this was how it ended?

 _This is it._

But if he didn't care, then damn it, neither would she.

She lifted her chin, anger making her movements sharp and her eyes cold. He was not getting a thing from her. Ken would be upset to see him go, and he'd readily admit, but Lucy would not. She was ice.

"Guess so." Was all she said, gratified that her voice came out just as controlled and icy as she'd meant it to. Since meeting James, she'd found a dozen new uses for her diplomatic training; this was definitely one of them.

It didn't seem to be the reaction he'd been hoping for, and Lucy could see it on his face. She could match his fire, but he couldn't do ice the way she could. He tried; she could see him wrestle to regain his balance, but she'd just scored a hit.

Even when he smirked, it wasn't the arrogant, untouchable expression that never failed to raise her hackles. It was a poor attempt at best, the kind of defiance that only confirmed that he was covering up a hit then scoffed. "Don't get all mushy on me." He all but snarled. "So long, Princess."

He stormed out of the command center, and if the door hadn't been automatic, Lucy thought he would have slammed it.

She hesitated for an instant. But she had hit a nerve, it had been written all over his face. Much as he pretended not to, he _did_ care – what she thought, how she felt, maybe a little of both. He wasn't walking away without any second thoughts.

Which meant that she might be able to persuade him not to walk away at all.

And if she couldn't, she could at least vent some of her anger at him rather than snapping at Ken or one of the droids later.

She squeezed past Katie's chair and hurried out of the door.

"JAMES!"

He was still within sight, striding down the corridor, and he came to an immediate stop when she called his name. "Yes, your Highnessness?"

She _hated_ it when he did that, but this time she brushed past it, not about to let him sidetrack her into another stupid argument about her name (to be followed by a snide or suggestive comment, no doubt; she'd been down that hyperspace lane before). She stopped directly in front of him, facing him across the corridor. "I thought you were decided to stay?"

Evidently that wasn't quite what he was hoping for either as he just stands there in front of her with both hands on his hips. "Well, the bounty hunter we ran into Mendel changed my mind."

The memory of that particular incident was still fresh in Lucy's mind, too, a simple supply run turned sour when two of Bitter's minions tracked James down. She'd yelled at him for that; for jeopardizing the mission, for putting her in danger, for dragging her into his stupid vendetta.

She'd regretted it almost immediately when she'd seen the look on his face. She'd apologized too, and she'd thought that they were past it. Yes, there was a price on his head, but it wasn't like that was rare around here. They were all wanted for treason, especially Lucy herself. James had lived with it for years now. This was not just about that.

She suddenly blurted out unexpectedly that she shouldn't say out loud to him. "James, we need you!"

" _We_ need?" He leaned down short with a surprised expression on his face.

"Yes!" Lucy nodded once, staring at him.

"Or what about _you_ need?" Changing the question easily, while looking down at her face.

She caught the change in pronoun, unclear as it was, and a little jolt in her stomach reminded her that this man had a tendency to flip the subject and trap her in innuendo if she wasn't careful. Granted, this didn't seem like the kind of situation where he would, but another she'd learned about James Solo was that you just never knew.

 _If in doubt, feign ignorance._ "I need? I don't know what you're talking about."

He snapped the fingers of his good hand in front of her face, gave her a look as if she'd just narrowly missed the right answer in a pop quiz. "Ah, you probably do."

And he was walking away from her, and she was chasing after him, unable to let it go. "And what precisely am I supposed to know?"

"Oh come on!" He ground out, storming along the corridor like a man on a mission. "You want me to stay because of the way you feel about me!"

She almost lost her patience completely. Of course she did. He knew that she wanted him to stay, she'd made no secret of it. In fact, she'd taken great pains to impress on him that she considered him an important asset, that she valued his help and his skills, all personal difficulties aside. She had reached out to him even when the others wanted to write him off; she trusted him, because she knew he was more than just a smuggler captain out for himself.

"Yes!" She exclaimed. "You're a great help to us, you're a natural leader—"

He rounded on her then raised his finger pointedly in front of her face. "No! That's not it." He leaned back, as if to better regard her; one of the techs used the chance to squeeze past, not giving either of them a second glance. The princess arguing with the smuggler had, in retrospect, become something of a routine occurrence. Even Ken had given up on trying to meditate.

James narrowed his eyes at her and raised an eyebrow. "Come on, Princess, admit it."

She caught onto his meaning then, and sought refuge behind an extra-cold glare. She hated it when he did this, too, steering towards this odd territory of innuendo and something else, just barely glimpsed beyond it. She could have handled the flirting. What she couldn't handle was the sneaking suspicion that, if she ever reciprocated, she'd soon find herself in deeper than she wanted to get.

 _With anyone._

But she had other reasons. She was doing this for Ken, for the Alliance, for morale, for everyone. There was no time for her personal feelings. Besides which, even if she was in any way attracted to him – and she knew for a fact that no one could prove that – she knew better than to get involved with a man like James Solo. A man constantly on the verge of leaving.

The thought put a little extra ice into her reply. "You're imagining things."

The hint of smugness disappeared, replaced by anger again. "Is that so? Then why is it you're following me? Were you worried I'd leave you without a goodbye kiss?"

She drew back, no longer quite as cool and controlled as she'd like, feeling the fire in her eyes again. Of all the arrogant, insufferable— "I'd just as soon kiss a Wookie!"

"I can arrange that!" James shot back. "You could use a good kiss!"

And with that, he was storming off again, anger vibrating from every stride.

This time, Lucy didn't follow. Instead, she stared after him, anger still rolling inside of her.

She should have known better than to go after him in the first place. Should have known that there was no convincing him, stupid mercenary that he was—

But she cut her own mental diatribe short, because she knew it was unjust. There was more to him than money, whether he'd admit it or not. Whether he wanted it or not.

But it looked like he was determined to stay on this path, and she would not beg, and she would not cry.

Just another mark in the losses column.

This one just hurt more than most.

* * *

 **.**

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 **~*Meanwhile at the Palm Woods "THEATER" where all of the people inside the hotel near at the pool watch at the screen*~**

 **Carlos:** Whoa, I am seriously cast as Chewbacca! THAT'S AWESOME!

 **Logan:** Well, Me as C3PO doesn't look bad, I think.

 **Kendall:** Me as Luke Skywalker ... that's cool. I've always wanted to be like Luke when I was a kid.

 **James:** Yeah, I'm pretty sure you are but Wow! I can't believe we are cast in the remake of _STAR WARS_! Not to mention me as Han Solo, I look pretty good as him.

 **Kendall:** Well, you do _act_ like him.

 **James:** I know! Especially Lucy, she's absolutely perfect as Princess Leia. Beautiful and feisty.

 **Lucy:** As much I begrudgingly hated to admit, I kind of like Leia. She's badass.

 **James:** Oh, I bet you are, _sweetheart_.

 **Lucy:** Call me _that_ again or I will kill you.

 **James:** Aww, but I like calling you _that_.

 **Lucy:**... I hate you.

 **James:** I love you, _sweetheart_.


	2. Regrettable Decision

**Disclaimer: I do not own Nickelodeon's TV Show "Big Time Rush" and Lucas Film's (and Disney's) Star Wars.**

* * *

 **Characters Starring:**

 _James Diamond as **James Solo (Han Solo)**_

 _Lucy Stone as **Princess Lucy Organa (Princess Leia Organa)**_

 _Kendall Knight as **Kendall (Ken) Skywalker (Luke Skywalker)**_

 _Carlos Garcia as **Carlos (Carlo) the Wookie (Chewie/Chewbacca)**_

 _Logan Mitchell as **L3MO (C3PO)**_

 _Kelly Wainwright as **General**_ ** _Wainwright_**

 _Katie Knight as **Lieutenant Knight**_

Gustavo Rocque as **Admiral Rocque (Admiral Ackbar)**

Lightning, the dog actor _ **as L2-N2**_

Amy Collins (Miss Collins) as **_Amelia Mothma, co-leader of the Rebel Alliance (Mon Mothma)_**

 _Reginald Bitters as **Bitters the Hutt (Jabba the Hutt)**_

* * *

 **~O~**

 **.**

 **.**

 **.**

 **~O~**

James' boots thudded on the frozen ground, his legs carrying him towards the docking bay in a recorded time. The Rebels he met stepped out of his way; droids were nowhere in sight. It was like they all knew that he was waiting for a reason to yell at someone.

He should have known better than to even talk to her. He should have just told General Wainwright that he and Carlos were out, said goodbye to the kid, and bailed. But no, he'd just _had_ to seek out the princess and get into one last argument, to receive a one last icy look.

One last confirmation that her regard for him was that of a general assessing her troops.

Every step towards his ship was a step towards freedom and he should have been exuberant but even as he stomped his feet, he knew that he was also dragging them.

A great help? What kind of reason was that to stay?

Was Kendall a great help too? Everyone knew that the kid and the princess were thick as thieves. Was that personal, or did he just merit more attention because he was a wannabe Jedi and thus a greater help than a lowly smuggler?

His comlink chimed, and one glance told him it was Lucy. He hit the "off" button with a rather more forceful than necessary. It was against regulations to turn it off, but he was done with this army and its regulation and its leaders who insisted on seeing him as nothing more than another soldier for the cause.

It was Carlos who obliged him in the end; when he reached the _falcon_ , it was to find that his first mate had taken the craft repulsor motivator apart.

In the Wookie's defense, he hadn't known that his captain was in such a hurry to get off of Hoth.

But James was not interested in the Wookie's defense. He was far more interested in yelling. "What pray tell, motivated this impeccable timing? I'm doing my damndest to get us both out of here, and you decided that _this_ is the time to pull both of these-"

"Captain? Excuse me, Captain!"

Of course. James stopped mid-sentence to glare up at the source of the interruption, and of course it was the damn droid. L-3MO, better known as Logan, personal assistant to Princess Lucy and twice as annoying. And without any of the princess' fire, or courage or beauty, or other saving graces to make up for it.

James wasn't nearly done yelling, in fact he now had _more_ to yell about, but he knew Logan. If he yelled, the droid would simply continue to politely try and say or do whatever he'd come here to say or do.

He turned back towards Carlos. "Put it back together or so help me I will-"

"Captain?"

Cut-off by this droid's word as he sigh then maneuvered himself out from under the ship. "What is it now?"

"It's Princess Lucy." Logan said in that typical tone that meant well but only grated on James' nerves. "She's been trying to reach you on the communicator."

"I turned it off. I have no desire to speak with her."

Logan didn't try to offer his services with mediating. He'd given up on James and Lucy's case remarkably quick after meeting them both in fact. "Oh. Well, she's worried about Master Kendall. She doesn't know where he is."

James gritted his teeth. Kendall. Of course it was about Kendall. What did he look like, the kid's babysitter? If she wanted Kendall, she ought to try calling _him_. James had just enough of solving everyone's problems around here. "I don't know where he is."

"Nobody knows where he is." Logan said.

And belatedly, James realized that he hadn't heard from or seen Kendall since coming in from his patrol. He'd assumed that the kid would follow suit soon and report in, given how annoyingly dedicated he was about matters like that, but if nobody knew where he was…

It also occurred to him that if Lucy was trying to reach _him_ despite how angry she probably still was, it was because her worry for Kendall was outweighing everything else.

James' gut churned. "What do you mean, _nobody_ knows?"

He realized that he was uninterested in the droid's answer, and that answer was surely a forthcoming, before Logan even began to respond.

"Well, uh-"

The droid stopped as James turned his back, yelling for the deck officer, who came running immediately. Not one to give up so easily, Logan stepped after him, servomotors whirring. "Excuse me sir, might I inqui-"

But if James was uninterested in the droid's answers, he was even less interested in his questions. He reached behind him to clasp his good hand over the droid's vocodor, silencing him as the rebel officer reached him.

"Yes sir?"

"Do you have any information on Commander Skywalker's whereabouts?"

The officer shot an odd look towards the droid, but either he was used to James' behavior or he was actually too professional to get sidetracked from answering a question. Perhaps both, James allowed.

"I haven't seen him. It's possible he came in through the south entrance."

That made four of them without any idea of where Kendall was. James felt his stomach tighten. "It's _possible_? I suggest you go and find out. It's getting dark out there."

The officer showed no reaction to James' admittedly snarky tone. He also didn't hesitate, or stop to ask such stupid questions. With a nod and a "yes sir", he turned on his heel and walk away.

Professional indeed.

James turned back the other, taking his hand off of Logan's vocoder as he did so. Predictably, the droid immediately began to talk again.

"Excuse me sir, but might I inquire what's going on?"

James' mind was already racing. If Kendall hadn't return, they were going to have to look for him quickly. Hoth's nights were deadly cold, far too cold for a human to survive. Kendall had been carrying the standard survival gear pack, but if something had happened to him, there was no guarantee that he'd still had it. He couldn't imagine what might have happened to him in the five minutes he'd left him out there alone but then again, his blonde-headed friend had shown a remarkable talent for getting himself into trouble. Between that and Lucy's talent for disagreeing with him on every subject in the galaxy, James thought darkly. It was a miracle that he even still knew what patience was.

But trouble or not, annoying or not. He couldn't leave Kendall out there to die.

To the south entrance, then. Find out if Kendall had been checked in and if not, whether the techs had gotten the speeders adjusted yet.

"Why not?" He told Logan philosophically, and left him standing there.

Behind him, he could hear the droid voicing his reproach for him, a familiar thing by now, followed by even more familiar concern. Logan was _always_ concerned.

Granted that right now, James was pretty concerned too. But _that_ sounded like something Lucy would point out, so he ignored the thought.

Kendall hadn't come in the south entrance. He hadn't been checked in at all, and James knew better than to even consider the possibility that he might have forgotten it. Kendall thrown himself into this rebellion thing with all the fervor and enthusiasm of an idealist determined to do something good, and he loved it. He even thought about writing and filing reports with stars in his eyes.

The speeders weren't ready to go either, their repulsors unable to handle the extreme temperatures without an overhaul.

James didn't hesitate, pushing towards the section that functioned as a makeshift stables. "We shall have to go out on tauntauns."

Briefly, he thought of Lucy, who would absolutely _not_ approve of this course of action. Neither would Carlos; he'd insist on going in James' stead, or at least with him. But the Wookie was still putting the falcon back together, and there was no time. Kendall was out there, freezing to death right now and James knew it.

Besides, if someone had to go out there. It might as well be him.

The deck officer didn't approve either. "Your tauntaun will freeze before you reach the first marker!" He called out as he hurried after James.

James didn't falter, long since he was used to people trying to tell him he couldn't do the things he wanted to do, and just as used to shrugging them off. Kendall was out there. And he is going to get him back.

"Then I'll see you in hell!" he all but snarled at the officer before spurring his tauntaun forward and heading out in the cold fading light.

 **~O~**

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* * *

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 **~O~**

Lucy stared at the golden protocol droid, a heavy feeling squeezing her chest. "Who authorized that?" she demanded.

Logan looked as miserable as someone could look while being unable to change their facial expression. "No one authorized it. I'm sorry, your Highness. According to Lieutenant Knight, Captain Solo simply commandeered a tauntaun and headed out!"

Lucy clenched her fists. Of course he had. Hadn't stopped to check in, hadn't bothered to clear it. Oh no, the infamous Captain James Solo didn't have to bother with such trivialities.

 _'And you wouldn't have?'_ the voice in her head asked as she grimaced. The trouble with being good at detecting lies, she'd long for since she learned was that it also made it hard to lie to herself. A useful thing overall, especially for one of the leaders of a rebellion whose entire justification was that they were legally wrong, but morally right. She needed a strong conscience, and that required facing the truth, no matter how uncomfortable.

But it was, on occasion. Inconvenient.

It didn't matter what she would or wouldn't have done, she told herself sternly. What matters was that James had done it, and she now had two men to worry about.

Two friends to lose.

 _'Stop it'_ , she ordered herself. She wasn't losing anyone. James and Kendall had both survived a lot already.

"Has he checked in since then?" Lucy asked.

"Not as far as I know, your Highness."

Lucy shook her head, already reaching for her comlink, trying to think who she could call for more information. But if James hadn't checked in, then no one in the base would know any more than she did."

"Nevermind." She told Logan. "Come on. Let's head down to the hangar. At least that way we'll know the minute they show up." Her gaze caught the sight of L2-N2 as she turned; the astromech droid was quiet as usual, waiting patiently until he was needed. "You too, Lightning. Maybe your scanners will be able to pick something up."

The little black and white droid gave a whistle of acknowledgement, and swiveled to head out of the room. Lucy followed through, still fuming silently and mentally composing a diatribe to hurl at James as soon as she saw him again.

Trying hard not to think about what she'd do if she _didn't_ see him again.

She could always tell how bad things were by how hard the officers around her tried not to let on how bad it was. By now, she knew better than to try and persuade them that it wasn't necessary, that after watching her planet blow up before her eyes she could handle any truth to that matter. They wanted to protect her. That was important, too.

They were trying hard now. Lieutenant Katie Knight was skulking around the hangar bay like a concerned ghost, comlink in hand while eyes looking up at every noise. The men avoided Lucy as she leaned back against an X-Wing, not sure if she was trying to hide or seeking support. Nearby, Carlos was pacing across the hangar floor, silent and watchful. The droids had moved over to the hangar entrance to extend Lightning's sensor range as far as possible without venturing into the cold.

The cold. Lucy could feel the temperature dropping, fighting back the shiver on her body. They would have to close the shield doors soon, to protect the base and all their equipment from Hoth's unforgiving climate during the night. They should have done that so easily, in fact; a glance at her chronometer told her that it was past the time.

"Ma'am?" a voice called from a small distance as a young man Lucy didn't recognize came hurrying up towards Katie. "All the patrols are in. still no-"

Katie cut him off with a gesture and a concerned look towards Lucy. The young female lieutenant continued, in a lower voice that Lucy nevertheless still heard. "Still no contact from Skywalker or Solo."

Her efforts were negated fully by the appearance of Logan, making his way over to her with that stilted gait along with Lightning on his heels. "Mistress Lucy, L2-N2 has been quite unable to pick up any signals. Although he does admit that his range is far too weak to abandon all hope."

"Your Highness." Katie joined them in the conversation, her face soft with sympathy as she looked at her. "There nothing more we can do tonight. The shield doors must be closed."

She wanted to scream, to insist that they were alive, that James would find Kendall and get him back to the base, that they couldn't lock them out there in the cold. But she knew better. They'd probably leave the doors open if she ordered them to. And the cold would creep into the mechanism, freezing it in place and dooming the entire base to endure the freezing conditions for the night.

And even then, more people would die. Because of her.

Lucy thought that maybe, Katie would give the order without her; but she was waiting for her, maybe hoping that she still had an answer, a last-minute solution. And it was as always, her call.

She nodded with a slight movement of her head. It was enough. Katie nodded back and turned to the officer beside her. "Close the doors."

Carlos had come closer now, bracing himself against one of the support struts as if he no longer had the strength to stand. He'd nearly rush out there himself, for she knew how desperate he was to get his best friend and captain to safely, but he knew as well as everyone else how pointless and suicidal that would be.

"Yes Ma'am."

They left to carry out their orders, leaving Lucy alone with the droids. The little astromech twittered.

"L2-N2 says their chances of survival are seven hundred and twenty five… to one."

Lucy wanted to get mad at Logan for pointing that out, but she didn't have it in her. Besides, he was only reporting the truth. She was the one who'd given the order.

Behind the Wookie, the doors began to move. Lucy braced herself as the gap between them shrank, then heard the Wookie's soft moan over the hum of the machinery and knew that this was on her.

The doors slammed shut with a heavy thud, like a closing sarcophagus, and Carlos threw his head back and roared mournfully, unashamed of his grief, pain and worry. Lucy remained silent, calm, unmoving and still unable to muster up any anger or even tears. Maybe she just didn't have any left.

"Actually, L2-N2 has been known to make mistakes." Logan said, as if there was any chance that any of them would find that comforting. "From time to time." He added uncertainly. "Oh dear, oh dear."

Lucy didn't look at him. She couldn't look at Carlos either, couldn't seem to lift her eyes off the ground at all as she walked away. The doors were now closed, and that was that. They would freeze in place overnight and with that, the rebels were sealed in.

And James and Kendall were locked out.

There would be no news, no reports, nothing at all until morning came and the doors could be opened again. There was no point in staying here, and Lucy needed to get away from them all. They didn't need to see her worry. They didn't need to spend the rest of their shift tip-toeing around her and trying to give her information or hope where there was none.

For a long time, she didn't sleep, unable to stop replaying this afternoon in her head and wondering, over and over, if there was anything she could have done. Thinking back to the last time she had seen James and what she had said to him.

Maybe if she hadn't, he would have been checked in before heading out after Kendall. She could have talked to him, to make him see reason, to make him stay…

It was so much of a useless exercise. The rational part of her knew that there was no way she could have prevented any of it. But then, the rational part of her also knew that there was nothing she could have done about Alderaan. It never stopped the nightmares in her head.

She did not want James and Kendall to appear there, alongside her dead homeworld and foster parents. She'd feared it before, but after two years of getting into one impossible situation after the other with those two and always finding a way out, she'd begun to trust that she wouldn't lose them, too. At least, not like that. James had always been cagey about sticking around, first reminding her that he was in this for the money, then increasingly citing the price on his head as justification. The prospect of his leaving had been bad enough. The thought of losing him like this, for good was infinitely worse.

 _It's when life gets tough that our trust is tested._ Her foster father had always told her. _Trusting during the good times is easy. Trusting and holding onto hope when everything's arrayed against you… that's the truest test to make._

They were not helpless out there, she reminded herself. Kendall had his Jedi skills, erratic as they still seemed to be. And James had finely-honed survival instincts and more than his share of pure, dumb luck. It was possible to survive out there. He'd find a way.

She repeated that thought to herself a few times, trying her best to believe it. Eventually, her exhaustion worn out and she fell asleep as she dreamed of her home, and bright white destruction with a snow that came and swept everything away that she ever loved.


End file.
